In Her Words: Amber Tells Her Recovery Story at Benefit Party & Show
Amber with her children, Athena and Ezekiel.
Every year, at our annual Benefit Party & Show, an Epiphany graduate bravely speaks about her recovery journey. This gives the graduate an opportunity to share openly about her experience - an important tool for sustained recovery - as well as gives event attendees a first-hand account of how their support changes lives. This year, Amber, stood in front of guests to give a powerful account of her experience with addiction and her path to recovery through Epiphany’s programs. For this blog post, we’ve transcribed her powerful, personal story below:
Amber,
Epiphany Grduate
“When I first learned about drugs, I was young and what you would call a victim of circumstance. My father was an addict of Methamphetamines and because of that experience, I told myself I would NEVER do the very thing that would break my family apart.
The first time I ever used methamphetamines was in 2016. I was 29 years old. I guess you could say I was a “late bloomer” in the drug world but none the less, I was in a world I never thought I would be involved in. I started using drugs to appease my partner at the time. I did not know that my partner had already had an ongoing addiction when I met him and I unfortunately got caught up in his struggle. I started using drugs in the hope that I could find some kind of connection with him but in doing so I became part of a whole other demon that I was unprepared for. Because of our addiction, I was a victim of domestic violence, kicked out of our apartment and ended up on the streets. At this point, I was what you would call a nomad or homeless - bouncing from city to city. I did not want to go back home for fear that my mom would know what I had become.
I would travel throughout California trying to figure out what to do with my life. During this time, I managed to find my way to Las Vegas where I lived on the streets for about a year. During this time I was a victim of a sexual assault which resulted in the birth of my first child, my son Ezekiel. I didn’t find out I was pregnant with my son until I was 29 weeks pregnant. I returned home to the Bay Area to get sober and have my son.
After having my son, I relapsed and started using Methamphetamines to forget about the assault along with other trauma I had experienced while being homeless. Some time had passed and I had found out I was pregnant yet again with my daughter Athena. One would think that I would or could have gotten clean - but I did not. Even though I was pregnant, I still chose to abuse drugs and I continued to use up until the day I went into labor.
While in the hospital, I was notified that CPS had been contacted; they were going to open a case against me and they would possibly take my children from me. I was so terrified at the thought of someone else raising my children that I knew I needed to make a change.
I had received the phone number of Kayla, a Navigator from Epiphany Center’s Road to Resilience Program and was told that she could help me. Even though I had major trust issues due to my recent history I gave her a call and informed her of my situation. Kayla came to the hospital within a couple of hours and became my advocate. I didn’t know anything about recovery programs, advocacy or anything like that at the time. Kayla told me that if I got into Epiphany Center, it would show CPS that I was serious about keeping my children. Two days later I had an intake at Epiphany with Joji Gale. Joji told me that Epiphany was almost at capacity and she wasn´t sure if they would be able to take me. I had already been turned down by 2 other recovery facilities and was feeling like there was no hope for me. I broke down and told her that my children were my reason for living and that I would do anything to keep them. I wanted her to see what I was trying to do and needed someone to support me, to give me that chance. Later that day, I received the phone call that was going to change my life. Joji called me back letting me know that they were going to bring me and both my children in to Epiphany. I cried and felt like God finally heard me for once in my life.
“While in the hospital, I was notified that CPS had been contacted; they were going to open a case against me and they would possibly take my children from me. I was so terrified at the thought of someone else raising my children that I knew I needed to make a change. ”
I arrived at Epiphany in November 2020 at the height of COVID. During this time everyone at Epiphany was supportive in more ways than I could ever imagine. While in program, I not only had a CPS case, I had also lost my grandmother. I felt lost and alone but Joji reminded me that even though we experience hard and tragic times while in program, I was experiencing it with a sober mind and if I can handle that sober, I could take on the world. This saying still sticks with me to this day. Another blessing that I never thought I would receive while at Epiphany was my best friend and sister of sobriety Faith. She not only is an amazing person but if it wasn´t for Epiphany, I would have never found someone that not only gets me but has had similar experiences in life and accepts me for the person I am. To this day Faith and I are a part of eachothers’ lives and we are more than family.
Amber’s Children
In March of 2021, I transitioned from Epiphany to their transitional housing called Step Down. While at Step Down I was able to start establishing myself back into society as a sober person. I will always remember the first time I met Lisa, House Manager at Epiphany’s Step-Down. Lisa was a straight shooter, no BS kind of person. Lisa may seem intimidating at first but once you get to know her, she is exactly the person you need in your corner; she was the person I needed in my corner. Lisa made sure we were looking for work, schools, housing and holding us accountable for the things we did just as one would in the real world. A lot of the things Lisa taught me are still being applied in my everyday life. Lisa gives the energy of a mother or big sister. She will always be there for you and is that kick in the butt you need. While at Step-Down, I had struggled with finding housing and because of it, my CPS case was extended another 6 months. I wanted to give up and crawl into a dark hole. Lisa was there for me not only to support me, but she reminded me how strong I was in my sobriety, my motherhood and all around as an individual. She gave me the strength to never give up. Sure enough with Lisa´s help, I received my Bringing Families Home life voucher and had my CPS case closed. I now have that never give up attitude. It has been 1 year since I left Epiphany’s Step-Down and I am now 2 years sober, I have my beautiful children, I have a home for us and I have been accepted to the RAMS peer counselor training program. I will be working toward becoming a counselor for people struggling with drug addiction. I would not be where I am today if it hadn´t been for Epiphany Center. My children have benefited from the amazing Childcare program (the teachers are incredible) and while I was in program my children were safe and thriving, and also their Family Treatment program (Dr. Linda and Tracy are treasures). My children also received and continue to receive care at Epiphany pediatric clinic -Nurse Melissa and Dr. Clem are amazing. I was so blessed to receive services and care from Epiphany’s many programs not just the one...each bringing me one step closer where I am today.
I CAN TAKE ON THE WORLD!
And for that I say “Thank you” from the bottom of my heart!”
-Amber
Epiphany Graduate
Would you like to support and celebrate Epiphany clients like Amber? Join us at our upcoming
Celebrating Mothers Luncheon!