From the Brink of Dying: Tracy’s Story
September 20, 2016
In honor of National Recovery Month this September, we want to share a story of transformation from one of Epiphany’s Recovery Program alums. Meet Tracy*, a proud but humble woman who radiates joy and compassion. Tracy has a full time job at UCSF, she’s got her own apartment, a wonderful relationship with her children and grandchildren, and she’s engaged to be married. Recovery is possible, and Tracy is living proof.
Let her story fill you with hope for all those still struggling:
What did my life look like before Epiphany Center? I was broken, I was undone, I was strung out on drugs. I was suicidal, I didn’t have any direction, I didn’t practice any morals or ethics, I had no responsibilities. I was at the brink of dying before Epiphany. I had no hope, I had no vision, I had no guidance, no accountability. I was hopeless.
I was going to kill myself. I was going to jump off a bridge in Albuquerque* and commit suicide. But then God decided for me. God reminded me that I had a daughter here in California, and a voice told me to call my daughter. I called her and begged her to ask me to come to California one more time. She had previously invited me to come to her wedding. Her boss had even bought me a $500 plane ticket, but I didn’t show up. I didn’t go to my daughter’s wedding because I was strung out on drugs. So I begged her to ask me one more time. I was originally going to come for two weeks to get my head together, but then I refused to go back to Albuquerque. I told her: I need help.
She had a friend who had been through Epiphany’s program 18 years prior and we called. I did my intake and August 22nd I walked through the doors. It was the happiest day of my life. It was the most hopeful day of my life. Up until that point, I had no hope. That’s my favorite memory from Epiphany Center, the day I was accepted here. It was priceless. I’ll never forget my daughter’s reaction, we both doubled over in tears. My life was saved.
To me, recovery means freedom.
Recovery is freedom from active addiction. Recovery means rebirth. It means to recover from something that once had me bound over. Part of my recovery is women helping women. Now, I am one of the co-founders of a network called “Sisters Circle”, it’s women supporting women. We reach out to hurting women, we hold groups, we meet regularly to share our stories, we help each other stay clean from active addiction. I’m very involved with the organization, it helps women to redesign their footsteps. It goes beyond a 12 step program, and we are currently developing a curriculum to bring to programs like Epiphany Center. I want to be a motivational public speaker, because I’m so grateful for the life I have. I was a hopeless dope fiend and now I’m a dope-less hope fiend.
When I left Epiphany, I knew I had to grow up and get some independence. Of course I was working before I left Epiphany, but I got promoted to a full-time digital clerk at UCSF Medical Center. I’ve been there almost a year now. I got an apartment, I got my driver’s license after 18 years of not having one, and I’m now engaged. I have grandkids who never have to see me on drugs.
The biggest gift I’ve gotten from Epiphany is a full life. But there are so many gifts I’ve gotten from Epiphany—a voice, direction, guidance, stability, solutions to my life’s problems, humility. My life has definitely transformed. I am nowhere near the person I used to be before I walked through Epiphany’s doors. Epiphany is a gift, it’s a life force that keeps on giving. That’s what Epiphany is to me, a life force.
I would tell any woman who is struggling with addiction to walk through Epiphany’s doors, and give yourself a break. Exhale...